Nick

I accidentally ran over a bunch of ducks (I have to stress the 'accidental' portion of this).

I almost died in elementary school when I choked on an ice cream, cried, because the teacher's aid didn't believe that I was choking.

When I was 5 my appendix burst and I almost died again, because my parents just thought that I was sick.

I have laughed so hard that I farted.

I had sex in a concert venue bathroom.

Nick, age 25